{vision} // board

 

BOARD Original Soundtrack B-Side

. : .

// Ivory Tower

a sheet of ancient paper
and His favorite pen

trying to write the impossible:
“Of Parental Failures And Sin”

red ink dripping
into cold blood
oh, what the—
has become of Him.

’cause if He intervenes
a floor might turn
into a ceiling

into a ceiling

into

a

ceiling

[ … ]

how am I supposed
to do this

all on My own

how am I supposed
to leave

this place
this place
this place

to follow

 

you,

 

dear Eve?

. : .

// The Diner

There was a diner
At the end of South State Street
Who served the best pancakes
In the whole wide world

Well, at least to me

The waitress smiled
And handed me her menu
Asking how ‘was doing

Well, I guess a little lost
Because I’m new

In town
Over here
In America
With a pocket full of dreams
No money, no car

In this town
somewhere in
Minnesota

There was a diner
At the end of South State Street
Who served the best pancakes
In the whole wide world

Well, at least to me

To me

If only
I could spend
Another mourning

In the diner at the end of my street
Then I could say good bye to America

Just the way

She did

. : .

// Blind

:: [now give it your all … ]

a guy in discord
thought i was nuts

>> just because i mentioned
that id talk to SUNO
like i talk to my plants <<

.oh what a fool {

all: serious;
&: cool;
with: his fake account;
&& sunglasses: all <#0373fc>;

}

<del>yet nother

dipsh1t who

thinks hes a

pro /lol</del>

 

{dear} // SUNO
please, send me a song
about ==

1. “respect”

++

2. this !d!ot who cannot see

youve got

 

⠠⠎⠠⠕⠠⠥⠠⠇

:: [ now give it your all, beautiful! ]

. : .

A//Ward

eight o’clock again
i’m painting a picture
of my whispering mental

theater

raining ups
and falling downs
with no catharsis

whatsoever

i can’t! is not an option
say the meds and neither
is your god complex

no matter
no matter
no matter

’cause at the end of the day
we share our violet lighter
and a cigarette

while walking down the hallway

together

to join the others
outside

the black sheep
losers and failures
the miserable
the trauma queens and
hurt teens
the lost and
the too far gone and

the numb

the looked down on and
the never-get-it-rights
the ones who
never

belong

did i forget
anyone?

let’s join the others
downstairs

the ones who don’t need to be told
that mental illness is just a

healthy reaction

to this

somewhat
sick

world

    .

. : .

// Tin Roof

A tin roof in the rain
Our café and time
No, I won’t complain

Few more rounds to play
And Karens looking
Fuck them, they’re
Empty anyway

Or shall I say:
Unaware of what’s to come
The downfall and—

Whatever
Just play
Just play

The Crying you mean.
And shame.

I smile because you know:
Payday ain’t a game

A tin roof in the rain
Our café and time
Two racks and
Wooden letter tiles

NPCs’ laughter
Dishes clatter

Imagine when all of this
Won’t matter

Because they’re gone

Hush, listen!
The tin roof in the rain

Our tin roof in the rain

. : .

ONE LAST BITE

I hate the world today
And everyone who’s in it
‘Cause there ain’t no other way
To make these skinny jeans fit

In the grocery store I cry
Over insects in every chocolate
An apple a day is what they say
But oh! Whatever! Fruit that!

So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon

With no end in sight
But a snickers bar
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite

My doctor says I’m healthy
All the blood tests turned out fine
Of course I could reduce my candy
But changing eating habits takes a ton of time!

In the grocery store I cry
Over insects in every chocolate
An apple a day is what they say
But oh! Whatever! Fruit that!

So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon

With no end in sight
But a snickers bar
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite

I will never disclose Vicky’s secret
Wearing make-up full of bugs all legit
Nor rock the office in hellacious heels
When all they do is bringing me to my knees!

So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon

With no end in sight
But a snickers bar
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite

One last bite

I hate the world today
And everyone who’s in it
‘Cause there ain’t no other way
But to love myself first, devil dammit!

. : .

Mismatch

This is an offhand song
Written within minutes
And without revision
With rhymes so strong!

I believe that from scratch
Is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
When it’s a complete mismatch

No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it

But offhand means another thing
It’s raw and rude for sure
Which is why I want it all the more
But now I am lost for words… again!

I believe that from scratch
Is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
When it’s a complete mismatch

No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it

Writing is all about bleeding
With my traumatized typewriter
In the middle of the night
On patient paper

I believe that from scratch
Is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
When it’s a complete mismatch

No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it

Because you are

This was an offhand song
Written within minutes
And without revision
Yes!

The inner critic is gone!

. : .

ANGEL

i wander through life with a mission
that isn’t mine to begin with
knowing that we’re all forgiven
but most of the people i meet think it’s a myth

but when there is forgiveness, there must also be sin
that’s the annoying start of every hopeless argument
and trust me, young lady, you have no idea how hard it has been
there is no god and no grace, at least not for me, but nice we’ve met

why are you always smiling?
fighting through it all
how do you get by when the night is falling?
wondering how to tear down these walls

oh, i know i’ve got a mouth and two ears
that i may listen twice as much as i speak
and of course i cannot control what somebody hears
but trying to understand and learn from them is all that i seek

i wish i could lend them my eyes
and my healing heart just the same
so they could realize and see

that God is love
and He is everywhere

. : .

THE  BLACK SHEEP’S CAROL

They say it’s the best time of the year
When broken families pretend they’re fine
Ignoring the black sheep shedding another tear
Yes please, I need more wine

Where have you been on Thanksgiving? You didn’t call!
I told you I was working, but you never listen
Show some respect, kid! She’s your mother, after all
And they just did it again, gaslighting me to give in

It’s snowing outside! It’s a storm!
Put off these dirty shoes in the hallway!
What are you even wearing, dear?
And why does your hair look like a mess?

Nice to see you, too, and Merry Christmas

After dinner, my sister is counting her blessings
Three hours later and even more wine kicking in
I call her an entitled and ill-drilled asshole
One that is completely out of control

But what the hell am I expecting from people
Who celebrate Jesus’ birthday only once a year
Watching Him die on a pine wooden cross
Forever hanging above their table

Oh, thank God
When He returns
He’ll make all of ’em
Disappear

Where have you been on Thanksgiving? You didn’t call!
But I told you I was working, obviously you never listen
Show some respect, kid! She’s your mother, after all
And they just did it again, gaslighting me to give in

It’s snowing outside! It’s a storm!
Put off these dirty shoes in the hallway!
What are you even wearing, dear?
And why does your hair look like a mess?

Nice to see you, too, and Merry Christmas

. : .

Es Ist (2008)

Schwarz oder Weiß
Alles, nur nicht grau
Ganz oder gar nicht
Alles, nur nicht halb
Heiß oder kalt
Alles, nur nicht lau

Ich kann nicht loslassen
Und ich weiß genau weshalb

Es ist etwas defekt in mir
Das die ganze Zeit schreit:

„Vergib Dir
Hab’ Vertrauen
Du bist nicht perfekt

Aber ich kann dennoch
Immer sicher auf Dich bauen“

. : .

HONVÁGY

Egy gondolat
Egy íz
Egy dallam
Egy virág
Egy jubileum
Egy ima

És újra otthon vagyok
Ahonnan száműztek minket
Mikor kicsi voltam

Egy olyan földre,
Melynek nyelvét beszéltem
De nem a név nyelvét:
„Örökre idegen leszek itt”

Még az unokáimnak is
Akik itt születtek

. : .

INDEED

He never helps me in the kitchen
And always falls asleep on the couch
My mental load is way too much to bear
Plus, he never, like, ever tells me I’m pretty
Even when I got a new haircut

He gives you space to make some mess
“Home is where my butt is, Darling!”
Which is why your heart is empty…
You just don’t get it, do you?

You didn’t marry yourself
You married a man
Please don’t turn into a Karen
For as long as you can

And always remember:
You gotta turn on the fire
As in the cave
So in your chamber

Turn the fire on, with kids, right
I can’t stand the fact that I do it all on my own
But housework is work!
I love my children, but I hate my life

What about some fun outside?
Oh, I didn’t know you go to work, too?
Nah, it’s more like a full-body-workout^^
You already sound like your mother…

You didn’t marry yourself
You married a man
Please don’t turn into a Karen
For as long as you can

And always remember:
You gotta turn on the fire
As in the cave
So in your chamber

And if you ever wonder how to do it right:
Order pizza, watch more Stargate, and fall asleep with him
For this world is too fucked up to steal your peace of mind

You didn’t marry yourself
You married a man
Please don’t turn into a Karen
Just because you can

And always remember:
You gotta turn on the fire
As in the cave
So in your chamber

. : .

Monorail

i remember it well
locked down like a criminal
searching for kindred spirits
when i boarded the Monorail

{hello} // beautiful souls

oh, little did i know
about the internet
and trolls

 

The Singing Knives
Yomanpepsican
Law Of Intuition
Edie Sedgwick
Judith

oh, Kazinski!

A1
Craig Cain
Ayra Stark and
T H E   P O W E R M A N

 

would always be there
making me happy
time and again

sharing
their wisdom
great music and
most of all: serious brain

i remember it well
locked down like a criminal
searching for peace of mind
when i boarded the Monorail

i hope they are all doing fine
receiving nothing but best karma
for being my virtual lifeline during c

{hello} // beautiful souls

oh, little did i know
about the internet
and trolls

 

The Singing Knives
Yomanpepsican
Law Of Intuition
Edie Sedgwick
Judith

oh, Kazinski…

A1
Craig Cain
Ayra Stark and
T H E   P O W E R M A N

 

would always be there
making me happy
again and again

sharing
their wisdom
great music and
most of all: serious brain

{thank you} // beautiful souls
that’s who you are to me
{x} // for helping me

be

. : .

// Astropeiler

Blue eyes
With a distant look

Believe me
I’d build a spaceship
If I could

Then we’d just fly away
From crazy waves and mad volcanoes
Exploring every single galaxy
Just the two of us

Until then we gotta pay our bills
Trying to avoid the stupid news
Me running for lithium pills
Ignoring all fake truths

Come, let’s roam the Effelsberg tonight
And sneak into the posh golf club nearby
No light pollution or idiots in sight
Just you and me

Watching our faraway night sky
Hidden in outdoor blankets
While all cuddled up

And in your eyes
This distant look

Believe me
I’d build a spaceship
If I could

Then we’d just fly away
From a home that isn’t ours
Exploring the milky way
And unknown worlds

Until then it’s Epic + Steam
Our living room: The Bridge
Sticky keyboards ready to smack
WASD == the! one! and! only! secret! for! attack!

Come, let’s roam the Effelsberg tonight
And sneak into the posh golf club nearby
No light pollution or idiots in sight
Just you and me

Watching our faraway night sky
Hidden in outdoor blankets
While all cuddled up

.
|
|
LOVE
<< YOU >>
[ [ [ KNOW ] ] ]
||                                         ||
_ _______ For the countless little things _______ _
__ _____ And for saving my life way too many times _____ __
___ _________ Always cheering me on with all your might: ________ ___
\                                     /
“ENGAGE!!!!!!!!
LEFT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
NOOOO, LEFT!!!%@&(wtf)<3!!!!!
ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
||                          ||
While I was laughing
And
Fighting to ascend
From the
.
/     M     \
/        U        \
/           D           \
.             | | |             .
.                  | |                  .
.                      |                      .
.                         .                         .

 

So every night I pray to God:
“Please, send us a spaceship!
You really. fucking. should.”

Come, let’s roam the Effelsberg tonight
And sneak into the posh golf club nearby
Zero light pollution and zero idiots inside
Just you and me

Watching our faraway night sky
Hidden in outdoor blankets
While all cuddled up

Oh, anyway
I’d build it all by myself
If I could

Until then there is nothing left for me to fear
Because of you and your romantic
Golf club sneak-in idea

(Cheeses, remember when
the golf club owners
showed up?!)

. : .

LAST CHRISTMAS

A merry Christmas brings new light
Radiating in yellow, red and white
A mushroom cloud
Flashing
Rising

Yonder the horizon
Wonderfully blinding lights
Bright new suns all around us

What a beautiful sight!

In awe we stare into the flash
Soon everyone out here
Is gonna fade to ash

What a wonderful Christmas!
Peace on earth is finally here
With mankind fading to dust
And no more wars to fear
In death we all trust

Trees growing through pebble
Polar bears prancing on the shelf
No one, nothing left to battle
Our planet healed
As nature retook everything

The virus killed itself!

In just one wonderful Christmas night
Oh Christmas, wonderful Christmas
Shining in a thousand suns’ light

Yonder the horizon
Wonderfully blinding lights
Bright new suns were around us

What a beautiful sight!

In awe we stared into the flash
Now everyone out here
Dissipated to ash

What a wonderful Christmas!
Peace on earth is finally here
With mankind fading to dust
And no more wars to fear
In death we all trust

. : .