.: 36
// Mismatch
/// LISTEN On SUNO
This is an offhand song
Written within minutes
And without revision
With rhymes so strong!
I believe that from scratch
is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
when it’s a complete mismatch
No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it
But offhand means another thing
It’s raw and rude for sure
Which is why I want it all the more
But now I am lost for words… again!
I believe that from scratch
is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
when it’s a complete mismatch
No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it
Writing is all about bleeding
With my traumatized typewriter
In the middle of the night
On patient paper
I believe that from scratch
is always the best because
I’m putting my perfectionism to rest
when it’s a complete mismatch
No need to be excellent
In killing the inner critic
Be your own best friend
And know you’re worth it
Because you are
This was an offhand song
Written within minutes
And without revision
Yes!
The inner critic is gone!
. : 35
// CH€CKOUT V$OL€NC€
k$ds
d$cks
ch$cks
$ lost $t
$ lost $t today
my
port€monna$€
of
pat$€nc€
. : 34
// ONE LAST BITE
/// LISTEN On SUNO
I hate the world today
And everyone who’s in it (but him)
‘Cause there ain’t no other way
To make these skinny jeans fit (try the gym!)
In the grocery store I cry
Over insects in every chocolate
An apple a day is what they say (yay!)
But oh! Whatever! Fruit that! (too fat!)
So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon
With no end in sight
But a snickers bar (har har)
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite
My doctor says I’m healthy
All the blood tests turned out fine
Of course I could reduce my candy
But changing eating habits takes a ton of time!
In the grocery store I cry
Over insects in every chocolate
An apple a day is what they say (yay!)
But oh! Whatever! Fruit that! (too fat!)
So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon
With no end in sight
But a snickers bar (har har)
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite
I will never disclose Vicky’s secret
Wearing make-up full of bugs all legit
Nor rock the office in hellacious heels
When all they do is bringing me to my knees!
So I run and I run
In my thoughts
A marathon
With no end in sight
But a snickers bar (har har)
Well, who cares tonight?
Just this one last bite
One last bite
I hate the world today
And everyone who’s in it (but him)
‘Cause there ain’t no other way
But to love myself first, devil dammit!
. : 33
// gemstoned
but.
youre activating
<hardaches> that made
me ≠ [s] [i] [c] [k]
</in :: the first place>
youre judging numb people
who get the damn vax
while youre still
simpin’ over your
hop-on
hop-off
ex
you dont cook
you dont write
you dont plant
fast in downtalking stuff
you dont even know
youd want
\ i / made you feel like
the best person in the world
when in fact i dont even know
you
/ i \ made you feel like
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
when in fact i opened up
, too
see whos the bipolar dipsh1t
(well, i wont deny it)
youre family
but.
unreachable
youre so far away
but.
i know you tremble
in
disbelief
freezing fear
and alarming anger
but.
trust me
theyre definitely better
than
dealing with your
dumbassed depression
i tried comforting her
out of the question
but.
you just never listened
instead ::
staring down at your phone
sharing peace of shit #redpilled {
fatalistically:
fucked and forlorn;
}
now i wont and
youre not
gonna
miss it,
but.
. : 32
// no apology
the blood of
my soul tribe
is thicker
than
the water i’m
coming from
. : 31
// knightfall
at the end of the day
it’s just the end of the day.
he already knew everything about
today\tomorrow. and the day after.
and also the day after that day and
all of the others to come be. be. be.
a mere loop, really. simple.
easy to grasp. boring. almost.
waiting for a change. he’d say
>>miracle<<
if he believed in such a thing.
but he quit believing.
and all of his due
expectations.
dreams.
hope? nay, that’s for silly minds.
he is living in the now.
no ego.
no problems.
no pain, no gain.
anyway. (definitely!) he’s
immersed in eternity.
undissolved. and
breathing
everything
non-biblical.
hush!
now. slowly. closing
yours mine his the blinds.
. : 30
// d157r355 m0d3
do you copy <or
is all of it go-
ing t-t-to
;;waste
slowly
drowning
/* unknowingly */
in their sadsadsea
;;;of sick chastening
their cheap emb-race
d-d-do you copy <or
d-d-did you
f-f-f-o-
rge-
;d
;d
;t
.
I
AM
_b_
_u_
_r_
_n_
ing
their
>>carbon<<
>>copy of<<
.
>past1.0<<<<
>>past2.0<<<
>>>past3.0<<
>>>>past4.0<
.
<atm>
.
my
friend
.:
<now>
:.
ALL
SET
.:.
___
!!!!!!!
!!!!!
!!!
!
. : 29
// algorhythm
/* the global narrative suggests
an unaware and mislead omnipretence
telling its edithorrors how to aquire cold blood
by daydropping destructive words with utmost care
while covering the essence with no way out of this mud */
system.down.idontwannadancewithLLM(“psychological warfare”)
. : 28
// Disguest
hark!
let
the
narcissist
talkbarkbark ==
(here we go again)
== gggggaaaaaasssssssstsktskkkk
-lighting all over the dinner table
bc ALL lights on
MEeeeeeheeE
bc ALL eyes on
MEeeeeooOoonlyy
and their incapability
,like,
ya know, ha!!!
is MY currency —
oh! moneymoney
mememe
heehee
,like,
gosh!!!
i REALLY
,like,
need to PEEhee
heehahaLMFAO
hicksOops
chr
c
h
r
(the bathroom is on the left btw)
== im BACK everybooOOOoodyyyy!!!
did you MISSSS meEEEeee
,like,
while i PISSSeediiiiiiewwhahiii ???
guess what!!! \ LOADS /
,like,
of she-ppl talk bad bout ME
,like,
behind MY back!!! and
that is just
,like,
>> RIGHT << !!!
where THEY belong!!!
shh listen, this IS
,like,
MYyyyyyYY
favorite song!!!
lets ALL DANCE!!!
bc i LIKE!!!
nobody?!?!?
,like, wtF???
oh, come on LOSERS
(chrchrchrheehee)!!!
if you dont dance
with ME
,like,
>>>> right NOW <<<<
i will be pissed
,like,
all night
LONG!!!
and i
MEAN
bc >>> i
ffffLIKE <<<
*I
*T
!
!
!
(no rhyme in the world could —
== i will
manipulate
YOU
,like,
as long as
it TAKES!!!
(ever express how —
== i
will
make
you
,like,
do
what
I SAY!!!
(whoreable …
== i
dont
CARE
,like,
what
YOU
think!!!
… they truly are)
== AND i
will make
you feel
SORRY
,like,
for
ALL
of
IT!!!
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
,LIKE,
!!!
(humming the boundary-song in my mind:
“please stop!
i dont like want that …
== whatever, im
L
E
A
V
I
N
G
!!!
… im feeling
uncomfortable,
i need more space …”)
== and
YOURE
,like,
the
ONLY
ONE
to
*B
*L
*A
*M
*E
!!!
(“here i go again”)
(“whats my age again?”)
(“whats my age again?”)
. : 27
// VIPER
so,
youve run me over
down at gleegossipstr
where cheap guttertraits
and slickslogan-t-shirts sell
to the crazycholericex
the newyearsdramadickhead
and the unfaithfulblueyedathletess
oh,
i remember them all too well
the nosy nurse in the recovery room ::
>> please tell her i said hi ha ha ha ha ha <<
(niceshice shicenice im too kind tee hee hee)
you of all people
beneath me
literally
oh,
the pride
in a nutshell
in a nuttynutshell
is where your brains abide
always balancing the borderline
oh,
the fight
your futilefight
the trick or trait
with trigtraitorstreats
ive completely forgotten the meaning of it
i need to admit
(i admit)
like with that tattooturning your back on the tiger
and foolfresh cuts decorating both forearms
oh,
they aint seen no ink yet
last time you put on a show
bc you put on a show
hyper! hyper!
while having
my cake &
eating it,
too
oh,
your charms
but, little did i know
. : 26
// control
singularity
in disguise
hear what they
see and smell
what she feels
whitening silence
keeping his
dose at
the lowest not
connected
yet part of it
all
is part of us
dissolving
for y
oh
]y[
no shell zero
content for there
is no outside
or inside
anyless
sitting with
e]x[e.motions
watching
evaporating
intoutof
your
void
tasting
in
[complete]
ly
whole
.
. : 25
// By the
im bliss counting my messings.
gratefulove for all the firsts in this
matrix setting. miracles unfolding in
a flood of tears. unseen that wood for
the fears. alive. a life. all ive ever wanted.
im a mess counting my blessings. blinded.
. : 24
// flying pigs
on the outside
or inside out
strapped
strapped
eventually
anchored
anchored
in the clouds
to the ground
. : 23
// exdream
tired toddlers throwing a tabletorturetantrum
shrieking biting crying their dry mamas tears
the invitation to thoughtravel back to her
still present after all these years
resortrunning from an empty lostlife full of
false trends failurepeat and careerfuturefear
while watching his wife coocoocooking cold air
time travel is all thats left as soon as his children
demand love and respect and a bedtime story
beam me up, reality theft! because
regretrest is my sanctuary
he should have called
apologizexplained to her
all of his black comfortlies
the fighting his worthlessnice
existent only in his fckd up mind
thanks to a shriekinsane mother
the biting weakness of his inferior father
crying over halfhis brother who never bothered
this aint no cologne carnival
but a deadening daymare!
raising that dididivoice
like she dont kare
another klick in secret
and he guessed right
she is living her dream life
a cutie in claret convershoes
soulmatemarried and childfree
by choice
white noise
white noise
white noise
. : 22
// dis><
re
ce
nt
ly
it doesnt matter anymore ::
fight flight freeze
origins neglecting
) ) ) ) who she really is ( ( ( (
^^teef>a<while
rieht>p<down
no>p<on
pu>e<her
elihw>a<knees _ _
__ please( )
____ please( )
______ please( )
P>r<ETTY(please^^) ::
sc”ALWAYSev
___ p\h
riKEEPer
___ t\e
bbONyw
___ s\ll
leSMILING!!!”here
___ d\o
. . . . . sssh!
. . . . . reminiscing
. . . . . knowing there aint ::
. . . . . . . . no cure
. . . . . . no eyes
. . . . no ears
( ( ( ( for her past blue battles == >ease< ) ) ) )
_ yet_
f
i
n
a
l
l
y
she couldnt care less
∴ == fight flight freeze
. : 21
amuar\t/OXic
layer by layer\
_ peeling
*fresh filth
referring
to the :: ego
layer by layer\
/\ scratching
*gullible guilt
relentless
to the :: soul
layer by layer\
digging =>
*dreaded defeat
restrictive
to our :: mind
layer by layer\
>> projecting <<
[broken]
b(?)
e(?)
l(?)
i(?)
e(?)
f(?)
s(?)
[unaware
unspoken
++ unkind]
<id=”0versharing”>
repetition;
0boundary;
incl 0relief;
</>
until :: day one {or} :: one day in
ʎdɐɹǝɥʇoɥɔʎsd
pǝʇuǝıɹo\\\\ɥʇdǝp
(ɥʇlıɟ
ʇlınƃ
ʇɐǝɟǝp
ɹǝƃuɐ
ʇsnƃsıp
ɹɐǝɟ
&&
(ɟǝıɹƃ
. : 20
a/lie/nation
a number (726)
a verse (ps 91:1)
a sign (feather)
on the outside [ 32gb confirming
::any definition of \ delusion
yt high watch party 24/7
r you in?? .whenever
#p
#i
#n
#g
_subsubsubsubsubsubsubsub
____ red letters\ delicate
\\ terrifying ¿&&¿ (true)
love \ “unconditional”
for every lost soul
willing to jump
thru (hell no!)
\THEIR/
___( . ) hoops ( . )___
\__________________________/
|| BUT ||
/ \
/ the \
/ time \
/ is now \
/ so jump! \
/ go jump! \
/ / / | | | | | | | \ \ \
up!
up!
up!
a promise\ everlasting
{that it is finished} .
\\
done = = so
move on
come on
coming
down…
down…
down…
{it is finished} .
?why cant you see
why you cant see!
?see why you cant
you cant see why::
{it is finished} .
w#?
h#?
a#?
t#?
alright:: you r
taking the long way
down… from that [pedestal]
real[\izing it is all up! to you & ur peeps
to throw any idol\idle $€dogma€$ far +++ far
away 2 the stars == bc
GOD (( #blss #mrc
#cares #4every1
-s
))
.
. : 19
// behind glass
safety| .misinterpreted { expensive;
} cascade| emotion == l!ke marbles
indecisive| emptied } open account; \-terms
coming back to you\r-self } but :: blurred|
|certainty == unseen { bound-aries
with no f\/cks given_
. : 18
// little white paper cup
[ …. , ….. … .. ….. !? ]
( … ! … ! … ? … ! )
… / s.o.s. ) hello, my problname is / …
— and then she went down with it
waiting for emptiness to kick in
]finally] on their way { home }
… you got it, you know”
!tell me, you got it”
“got it / …
.mhm”
“im down == one
“& empty == two
“but { home } == three
“i got it (threetwoone)
\this time/
“im done
“… feeling [blue]
++ fyi”
i got you 2″
. : 17
// denominator
[ grow → | x | ← peter ]
[ p ] ←
everything they have done wrong
we can count all its ways
while crawling down
the avenue
of slick
shared
shame\
[ a ] ←
what they have done wrong
unmeasurable burden
carrying without
a heart ++ once
golden, to
blame\
[ i ] →
sh,
now
press
ctrl + x
0 hesitating
aware entirely
!that kind of thing\
[ n ] ←
out of all
out of order
out of the blue
out the window
without a note to
rely on, build upon, moving on
from what they have done wrong\
. : 16
// none
hello, whats your name\
/mblah mblah sblah.
whats your skillset\
/blah blah. blahblah, blah blah –
/blah blaaaah blah blah, blah.
whats your strength\
/blah! blah blahh blahblah.
whats your weakness\
/blah. blah, blah.
what is stress\
/b. l. a. h.
whats a cms\
/cblah mblah sblah.
whats the point\
/(// x)
thank you, goodbye\
/tblah yblah, tblah.
/(wblub tblub fblub?!)
. : 15
// Glass
{looking in
captivated || doomed
reflecting a world that is none
/but yours
to
d
n /e
a r
w r
o
r
}
. : 14
// chain
{
at
(the)
e
n
d
of
(x)
d
a
y
moon obscuring (x) eye
== does it] ! [matter
nw
eh
he
wn
\everything/ we know
is
s c a t t e r e d
a
n
y
w
a
y
}
[?]
. : 13
// blind
wandering back to yourself
is like counting the stars
on a summers day [you blink
with your eyes in vain;
like a never-ending spiral
distancing itself from the
center [with increasing speed
please, try again;
wondering what the [welcome
may release ::? an agenda
of necessities or nostalgia
resembling the [invalid pattern;
of black despair [== hidden
stirring up protective rage
relentlessly [until your mind
has run empty, finally;
wandering back to yourself
is like counting the stars
on a summers day [with no
shooting stars to wish upon;
[simply because ::
]
]
]
]
]
]
]
you are one]
.
. : 12
// hard candy
when numbness is spiraling down
(direction unknown)
in a madhouse full of opposites
—> fear, have a seat, please
here <—
according to what was said
banging their head-s
against a wall made of people
sh[ ] sh[ ] sh[ ] cr\ipple!
who care\s
the marching on to
horizon zero
with a heart so heavy, (!) let it bleed
into the faces
|-|-|-| de\fences |-|-|-|
narcissistic to the bone, (!) into the ordinary
born to compulsory, & hard candy! for everyone
searching ever more
for this core
<— where —>
:: (your) ___seat___ has been taken
&& (fault)
. : 11
// [one] in a million
i see a million possibilities
:: even more
waiting for [you]
i hear a million voices
:: even louder
applauding [you]
i smell a million chances
:: even brighter
building [you]
i taste a million setbacks
:: even worse
teaching [you]
i feel a million emotions
:: even stronger
coming from [you]
i sense all of it
when [you] radiate light
// no matter how dark the pit
:: for all [you] do
is
coming
to
== life
. : 10
// cycle
heard it all before
heard it all before
you hear me?
hear me out!
[my thoughts are mine to lose]
[my thoughts are mine to lose]
when did we fall apart?
fall apart!
im running
im running
will you arrive?
tell me!
i dont know
i dont know
heard it all before […]
hear me out!
i choose
i choose
maybe —
but i conclude!
[no news]
[no news]
heard it all before
heard it all before
. : 9
// the necessity
cut his arm bleeding
last night == saved him
from feeling
the necessity to /fight
plastic in the ocean
earth is dying, is it
another fun fact to /fathom
another kick in the /face
she couldnt care less
about society
== loathing /success
and venting /vanity
cant make sense of this world
theyre living $$ excuse us: dying in
where children r never heard
and churches harvesting /sin
feeling hope[x]
and use[less]
that night == saved him
from bleeding
/in the knowing
. : 8
// reverse
waving but drowning
fighting but falling
this is his task
or shall i say: mask
loving but hating
smiling but screaming
this is her mask
and what it lacks
consenting but compromising
understanding but despising
this is their fate
holding on till its too late
to wave
to fight
to love
to smile
to consent
and understand
. : 7
// decalcomania
unseen, is how i feel
ready, is what you want
come, come to the front!
or end up under the wheel
imprisoned, and down i kneel
entitled, is what you are
leave, leave, go too far
show some adaption appeal!
how i feel
like a joke to you
with all the things you do
leave and reveal!
how i kneel
as if all this mattered
poems fckd, all cluttered
come and conceal!
my hatred is yours
under the wheel, ofc
down, down i kneel
a mirror,
a deal?
. : 6
// never
i wander
i wonder
i wanna
i wont
cry out
fall
or fly
without
i wont
i wanna
i wonder
i wander
in fields
of lavender
all purple
and dreams
i wander
i wanna
i wont
i wonder
do they ever
think of me
pray for me
doubtfully
i wonder
i wander
i wont
i wanna
dance in a
green dress
with flowers
in my ha__ ha__ ha_r
! out of jokes
! out of options!! out of order
{ x }
unplug and see:
the floor
turning into
a ceiling ::
my heart broken
offered, yet
forsaken
forever
? option
taken
(see above)
. : 5
// TVLEAKs
i could do another monologue
! ha, who would care
sure, no one but
the lady with the log
? who is the log lady
well —
you dont know
then ask me:
to show and tell
the valley and the peaks
(let’s darken the room first)
(press play)
they dont speak!
we dont speak!
! but the tv
during an episode of
twin twi tw t
! it’s a monologue
remember?
no need for me to stop
in the middle of a
== sentence
:: to listen
:: to process
! giving a damn
about the
other
== peep’s
? understanding
not a
d
di
dia
dialogue ::
== but
why is she carrying that log?
. : 4
// mirror
i am me
you are you
clickbaits blue
opinions for free
for the internet
we strive
unseen
set
we are
we
you
and i
online
behind
a screen
always far
. : 3
// signal
im walking through closed cabinets
mirrors are nowhere to be seen
a weak smile is all he gets
but one thats keen
rescue! rescue!
coo coo! coo coo!
im standing behind open windows
angel wings are paving the sky
a strong cry as he withholds
a cry of mine
. : 2
extinction rebellion
slowly & steady
\ notice /
\ i /
\ 2 /
c
/ 2 \
/ e \
/ water \
fast as thought
save the dandelion
. : 1
// for that matter
imagine a world without sound
a world without sound
what a fraud
imagine hurt without relief
a hurt without relief
just a
.\thief
of laughter, smiles and fun
and his fun is
..\none
of love for life and love itself
love itself
stay alive
of ideas, plans and play
and play
stay!
imagine hurt without change
hurt without change
a pit of flames
…\only
imagine a world without pain
a world without pain
how insane
why? you may ask
i cannot answer
/only cry.
//loud and stinging tears..
///cherishing my…
////fears for the better….